My child came home upset because two friends planned a game without inviting them. They want me to message the other parents. I know how much it hurts, but one awkward afternoon isn't necessarily a pattern of exclusion, and adults intervening can make school friendships even more complicated. I'm leaning toward listening, helping my child decide what to say tomorrow, and watching whether it keeps happening. Where do you draw the line between coaching and stepping in?
Deciding whether to intervene in a minor friendship conflict
- parenting
- intervene
- minor
- friendship
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4 replies
I’d coach first, not message the other parents yet. One missed invite can be a rotten moment without being a big pattern, and the adults can...
I’d coach first, not message the other parents yet. One missed invite can be a rotten moment without being a big pattern, and the adults can accidentally make it feel much bigger than the kids meant.
I’m with you, but I’d still check whether this is part of a repeat. If it’s the third time in a month, that changes the conversation a bit.
That’s the line for me too. I’d ask my child what they want to say tomorrow first, because sometimes they just need words, not a rescue miss...
I’ve had better results with a quick practice script than with messaging parents. Something like, “Can I join next time?” is awkward for about ten seconds and then it’s done.
And if it keeps happening, then you have something concrete to bring up. Without that, it can turn into adult guessing based on one bad afte...