After a disagreement, I used to insist that my child say ‘sorry’ immediately. Often the word came out angry and meant little. We're trying to focus on what happened and how to repair it—returning a toy, checking on someone, helping fix the mess—before asking for an apology. Is there a way to encourage genuine responsibility without turning the exact phrase into the whole objective?
Deciding whether to require apologies or focus on repairing the behavior
- parenting
- require
- apologies
- focus
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What helped me was tying the apology to the fix. If they’re returning a toy or helping clean up, then the apology is about naming what happe...
What helped me was tying the apology to the fix. If they’re returning a toy or helping clean up, then the apology is about naming what happened, not replacing the repair.
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I think you’re on the right track. A forced apology can become a performance, while repair makes them do the part that actually affects othe...
I think you’re on the right track. A forced apology can become a performance, while repair makes them do the part that actually affects other people.
We say, “sorry is one way to start, but fix it too.” That keeps the word from becoming a magic password they can mutter and move on from.
Same in our house. If they spill something on purpose, I care more that they clean it up and notice the mess than whether the apology sounds...